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Definitely listen to the foot feeling re: the water. Always better than trying to deal rationally. Your gut may be on delay, but you're catching up, it seems. It is never too late! I did not listen to my gut re: marriage, but figured it out, eventually. My "inner" self taught me to simplify my expectations, not lower them. Life's much easier, since.
Somehow, I find real peace in barren, mountainous areas. Headed to Montana, this summer. You'll love the Cascades.

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